I think our society confuses lust with passionate desire. Lust is not a basic emotion. It is a combination of emotions. Lust does include passionate or strong desire but it is more than just desire. Lust has another element, another emotion mixed in with the passionate desire.
To determine what this other emotion is, we need to look closely at the nature of lust. When we lust after something we not only feel desire for it but we can’t let it go; we can’t leave it alone. There is an ‘urgency ‘ in lust that is not in desire alone.
When I see a Porsche I feel desire. I wouldn’t mind having a Porsche but currently I can’t afford it so I drop it. If I lust after a Porsche I will not be able to drop it. I will mortgage my house if I have to because I “need” that car or at least I will become depressed because I cannot obtain it.
I contend that the additional emotion that turns desire to lust is fear. I believe lust is the combination of desire for something and the fear of not having it.
Having affection which turns to the desire for greater union which may become passionate desire is one thing but when fear of not having the object of one’s affection enters in you are dealing with lust which is quite another.
Without lust the need for greater union can be sacrificed for the sake of respect for the rights of others and/or your belief’s with regard to right and wrong. Lust is an element of addiction. When we focus our need for union (eros) on just one or a few things in life then the “fear of not having” becomes stronger and thus lust becomes greater and we become more desperate.
Healthy relationships involve passion not lust. We need to stop thinking that passion is lust. Lust is a weakness. Passion is a strength.
CenterPointe Research
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Dominion and Submission
As I have said, there is only one imperative need. It is the need to reunite with our source, with the light of truth, with pure consciousness, with God. This manifests itself as a continual need for union, for union with that for which we have affection be it food, study, people, adventure, etc.
For one object to unite with another one must give and one must receive. That is, if I am uniting with a banana, generally the banana must give its whole being to become one with me. One sacrifices or gives themselves to the other. One must be dominant and one must be submissive. We may try to create this synthesis or this satisfying of the need for union by both coming to some middle ground. This cannot be because you are not uniting with anything. Coming together isn’t uniting because there is no identity that is receiving. Union comes by one becoming a part of another. I don’t think two parts trying to become something else works. One must be the receiver of the other. One must submit to the other. The intensity of passion increases in proportion to the degree of submission or dominion. The more I give myself to another, the greater my passion and satisfaction. The more I receive or dominate another, the more intense the passion and satisfaction. The more affection I have for another (the more I value another), the greater the passion.
Union occurs when there is evidence of union. The one giving their self to the other must become an extension of the will of the receiver. Therefore for this to occur there must be activities that show this union. In the case of food the evidence is quite obvious. The food’s original form is destroyed in order to be consumed by the receiver. With human’s it is a little more complex.
The evidence of union between humans may start with a touch, then a kiss, etc. The intensity of the passion increases as the kiss becomes more intimate, more penetrating. The submissive and dominant roles may swing back and forth between the two so quickly that the fact that one is submitting and one is dominating at a given moment may be hard to see but that is how it works.
I have been saying that we need evidence of union but this is not really correct because the activities or evidence of union aren’t showing union they are union.
The passion obtained from human intimacy is great and easily susceptible to corruption or in other words to abuse. By abuse I mean when the need for union or erotic desire turns to lust. When the element of “the fear of not having” enters into it, the normal desire for union becomes prone to violence. The greater the sacrifice the submissive one makes for the dominant one, the greater the passion if the submission is voluntary. When one suffers pain for another, when one is willing to sacrifice for another the passion involved is increased. This is why a woman may want her lover to be more aggressive with her when making love to her. She wants to feel her submission more deeply.
Have you ever seen two lions mating? The male will bite the female's neck until she submits to him. Her passion is evidently dependant on his forcing her to a degree to show that she is one with him by his even using force to have her.
Trust is critical here. A woman who is forced by a man she does not trust is the same as a woman being raped. Rape is not erotic union because it is one sided. True erotic union comes when one gives and one receives. If one takes there is no true union. It is an illusion, it is false and it is abuse.
This need to see evidence of union is the foundation of sadism and masochism. The evidence of submission is the pain one inflicts and the other experiences, allowing the other to have this power over them. The fulfillment which they both receive is erotic (not sexual). One becomes the property or extension of the other. Sex might be used as a way of intensifying the union but it is not the main catalyst, Eros is.
For one object to unite with another one must give and one must receive. That is, if I am uniting with a banana, generally the banana must give its whole being to become one with me. One sacrifices or gives themselves to the other. One must be dominant and one must be submissive. We may try to create this synthesis or this satisfying of the need for union by both coming to some middle ground. This cannot be because you are not uniting with anything. Coming together isn’t uniting because there is no identity that is receiving. Union comes by one becoming a part of another. I don’t think two parts trying to become something else works. One must be the receiver of the other. One must submit to the other. The intensity of passion increases in proportion to the degree of submission or dominion. The more I give myself to another, the greater my passion and satisfaction. The more I receive or dominate another, the more intense the passion and satisfaction. The more affection I have for another (the more I value another), the greater the passion.
Union occurs when there is evidence of union. The one giving their self to the other must become an extension of the will of the receiver. Therefore for this to occur there must be activities that show this union. In the case of food the evidence is quite obvious. The food’s original form is destroyed in order to be consumed by the receiver. With human’s it is a little more complex.
The evidence of union between humans may start with a touch, then a kiss, etc. The intensity of the passion increases as the kiss becomes more intimate, more penetrating. The submissive and dominant roles may swing back and forth between the two so quickly that the fact that one is submitting and one is dominating at a given moment may be hard to see but that is how it works.
I have been saying that we need evidence of union but this is not really correct because the activities or evidence of union aren’t showing union they are union.
The passion obtained from human intimacy is great and easily susceptible to corruption or in other words to abuse. By abuse I mean when the need for union or erotic desire turns to lust. When the element of “the fear of not having” enters into it, the normal desire for union becomes prone to violence. The greater the sacrifice the submissive one makes for the dominant one, the greater the passion if the submission is voluntary. When one suffers pain for another, when one is willing to sacrifice for another the passion involved is increased. This is why a woman may want her lover to be more aggressive with her when making love to her. She wants to feel her submission more deeply.
Have you ever seen two lions mating? The male will bite the female's neck until she submits to him. Her passion is evidently dependant on his forcing her to a degree to show that she is one with him by his even using force to have her.
Trust is critical here. A woman who is forced by a man she does not trust is the same as a woman being raped. Rape is not erotic union because it is one sided. True erotic union comes when one gives and one receives. If one takes there is no true union. It is an illusion, it is false and it is abuse.
This need to see evidence of union is the foundation of sadism and masochism. The evidence of submission is the pain one inflicts and the other experiences, allowing the other to have this power over them. The fulfillment which they both receive is erotic (not sexual). One becomes the property or extension of the other. Sex might be used as a way of intensifying the union but it is not the main catalyst, Eros is.
The proof of union is the fact that the one allows the other to inflict pain on them and they willingly accept. This is the proof of their union. Their passion comes as the evidence of union is demonstrated. And again, the evidence of union is the union.
This fulfillment can be had at any time and with wholesome productive activities. We have not learned to do this. We don’t really give ourselves when we serve. We serve only to show that we are good or we think we are supposed to serve to be a good person. Our reward is that we now feel like a good person. Perhaps we feel the good feeling of helping someone in need. But there is more. To fully serve you must give yourself to the other. You become an extension of them. You bend to their needs, their will. True service is an act of passion.
We have long attached eros to sexual activity. Eros is just as valid in service. Discovering how to obtain this is one of my current goals. Somehow eros must be attached to more things. Many of the addictive problems of our society are due to the narrow range of things we attach eros to. A drug addict obtains their sense of union only from drugs. They cannot seem to attach it to anything else. One who has extinguished all capacity for satisfying eros will seek suicide or just wait in a numb stupor for death to come for that is the only way left, as they see it subconsciously, to satisfy the ultimate, imperative need to reunite with their source.
This fulfillment can be had at any time and with wholesome productive activities. We have not learned to do this. We don’t really give ourselves when we serve. We serve only to show that we are good or we think we are supposed to serve to be a good person. Our reward is that we now feel like a good person. Perhaps we feel the good feeling of helping someone in need. But there is more. To fully serve you must give yourself to the other. You become an extension of them. You bend to their needs, their will. True service is an act of passion.
We have long attached eros to sexual activity. Eros is just as valid in service. Discovering how to obtain this is one of my current goals. Somehow eros must be attached to more things. Many of the addictive problems of our society are due to the narrow range of things we attach eros to. A drug addict obtains their sense of union only from drugs. They cannot seem to attach it to anything else. One who has extinguished all capacity for satisfying eros will seek suicide or just wait in a numb stupor for death to come for that is the only way left, as they see it subconsciously, to satisfy the ultimate, imperative need to reunite with their source.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
