Sleeping with Yourself

I saw the following bumper sticker recently : "Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative". This bumper sticker expresses my next point to a degree. I would, however, alter it to say “Marriage changes passion… suddenly you’re in bed with yourself”.

The apostle Paul makes this statement in Ephesians 5:28 in the Bible:

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”

The Bible reiterates the “love thy neighbor as thy self” principle several times. This idea of loving others as yourself I believe is actually quite a natural phenomena. That is, I believe we automatically treat others and view others as ourselves as we become more familiar with them or in other words as we become more one with them.

Our spouses especially are subject to this. We become closer to them than anyone else. The closer we get the more we become one and the more we are likely to treat our spouse as ourselves and view their bodies the way we view our own. Our spouse becomes an extension of our own body.

As I became aware that I did not feel positive feelings about my own body I struggled to change my attitude. I found quickly that the more I cherished and had affection for my own body, allowing a degree of “erotic” (not sexual) desire for myself, the more I desired my wife. This wasn’t easy though. I still struggle with my more habitual feelings of apathy and dislike for my body, but it is obvious to me that having physical affection for my own body was imperative to my capacity to have whole feelings of physical affection, and therefore whole love, for my spouse as we became closer.