How did this happen? How does one develop physical affection or lose it? There are two perspectives that enter into this and both need to be addressed. First is how I feel about my own body and second how I feel about my mother's body or the bodies of those in my own family.
I have already mentioned how there was a lack of affection for my mother's physical aspect but what about our relationship with our own bodies? How do we develop our attitude about our own bodies? It's simple. Our attitude toward our own body is a reflection of the attitude of our parents towards our bodies! We gain our attitude from the signals and feelings we get from our parents or other people whose opinion we value. If my mother feels and manifests apathy or even disgust regarding my body that is probably the attitude I will adopt.
On one occasion I watched my daughter-in-law bathe my grandson when he was an infant. His eyes were constantly fixed on her face. It seemed he was wondering "what do you think of me mom?" As far as a baby is concerned when he or she is naked it is not just his/her body that is exposed for his or her mother's reaction but it as far as the baby knows it is his/her self.
The reaction of the parent to their child’s body could very well determine how the child comes to feel about themselves as a whole. So what did my mother think of me? I remember when I was a young boy seeing mom bathe my little brother. She seemed stiff and did not seem to enjoy what she was doing. As I look back on this I thought perhaps she had some kind of negative attitude about my little brother’s body. If not a negative attitude at least there was no pleasure in her while bathing my brother. Is this the attitude she had towards me and is this the attitude I have toward my own body? Could this be or am I imagining something that wasn't true?
I have already mentioned how there was a lack of affection for my mother's physical aspect but what about our relationship with our own bodies? How do we develop our attitude about our own bodies? It's simple. Our attitude toward our own body is a reflection of the attitude of our parents towards our bodies! We gain our attitude from the signals and feelings we get from our parents or other people whose opinion we value. If my mother feels and manifests apathy or even disgust regarding my body that is probably the attitude I will adopt.
On one occasion I watched my daughter-in-law bathe my grandson when he was an infant. His eyes were constantly fixed on her face. It seemed he was wondering "what do you think of me mom?" As far as a baby is concerned when he or she is naked it is not just his/her body that is exposed for his or her mother's reaction but it as far as the baby knows it is his/her self.
The reaction of the parent to their child’s body could very well determine how the child comes to feel about themselves as a whole. So what did my mother think of me? I remember when I was a young boy seeing mom bathe my little brother. She seemed stiff and did not seem to enjoy what she was doing. As I look back on this I thought perhaps she had some kind of negative attitude about my little brother’s body. If not a negative attitude at least there was no pleasure in her while bathing my brother. Is this the attitude she had towards me and is this the attitude I have toward my own body? Could this be or am I imagining something that wasn't true?
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