Affection

When affection is thought of as being a distinct feeling or a small set of mild, tender feelings I think we relegate it to a less significant place than what it really holds in the whole of what a human being is. To me affection is simply the emotional response we feel when we perceive something of significant value, beauty or positive meaning in someone or something. Therefore there is a whole range of feelings that are “affections”. The nature of the feeling is dependant on the person or object of our affection and the specific characteristic we are observing.

I feel one feeling when I look at my son and contemplate what he means to me. I get another feeling when I look at my wife’s smooth lips. In my belief both feelings are affections. Two different feelings are generated but of interest is the fact that these affections might motivate one to express that affection through the same kind of expression, a kiss.

Does a banana split evoke affection? According to my definition, if you like banana splits, it certainly does! Say you look at a picture of a banana split. If you have never had ice cream, hot fudge, bananas, whipped cream etc. the picture wouldn’t mean much to you, but if you have had experience with banana splits the picture evokes a feeling. The feeling is saying to you that you value banana splits. The feeling is actually an instantaneous summarization of your experiences with banana splits and it tells you this is something that is desirable. Then your system generates a desire; A desire for greater intimacy with a banana split. I will explain my use of the word intimacy in another post, but if you want to taste it, feel it in your mouth and make it a part of you, isn't that intimacy. You want complete union with it, you want to eat it!

Affection can be for food, for people, for houses, for cars, for animals, for anything. We feel affection for that which we value, for that which means something positive to us, for that which is beautiful to us. All affections as I have defined them lead us to desire greater intimacy with the object of our affection. The form and extent of our intimate expressions will of course be limited by the boundaries we have in our hearts related to the type of relationship.